Don't rule her out

Maybe you are a loner. Maybe you are heartbroken.
Maybe you just don't care.
 Maybe you just want to have sex with any girl you see.
I would like you to listen to a story of mine,
 a story of how my life drastically changed.
I went from being a loner, heartbroken, uncaring, and a player
to a family man.

A few years ago, I thought I had it all together.
 I met this girl , and I thought I was in love.
I had it in my head, that God's will for me was to marry her.
I changed my whole life for her. Basically I changed who I was.
I left my hometown and moved up to where she lived.
 I started seeing, however, that it wasn't going to work out.
 We were two totally different people, and we split up.
 It broke my heart. I was so sure she was the one.
Depression starting kicking in, and I crawled up into my shell.
 I blocked out the world. I felt like a complete failure.
 I couldn't understand what went wrong! I kept saying
"God, what did I do wrong! Why did you bring her into my life??"

I grew up in a broken home. I wasn't  able to see my dad much,

only about every other weekend.
I never know what it was
like to be in a home where my mom and dad lived together, and
loved each other. That's all I ever wanted. I just wanted a family.
I wanted to be in love, and happy. I wanted children, and I wanted
them to know that their daddy loves them. I could care less about
riches, or fame. I just wanted love, real love.
 I had dreamed about it since I was born.

I thought I had found it, and I was wrong.
I was so devastated. Heartbroken to be exact.
 I couldn't see how any girl would ever want me again.
 I hated feeling this way, but I couldn't help it. I tried and tried.
 I remember friends telling me "cheer up man, you'll find the
right girl eventually". I thought to myself, "eventually? really?".

Well, I didn't stay heartbroken for long.
I basically stopped caring about everything except
one thing, sex. I decided to start sleeping around.
I felt that I was being a "man". That's the American way, right?
I went to bars, clubs, and parties. Drinking my life away,
and having sex with as many girls as possible.

One day I remember getting a text from one my ex-girlfriends
from high school, her name was Jessie.
We dated on and off since middle school, but we
always remained friends. I just remember she always
 used to be head over heals for me.My mom used to tell me
"She is the one for you, son". At this point, She was a single mom.
 She had a one year old son. The biological dad ran out. I thought,
"there's no way". I'm supposed to have the "perfect family".
I couldn't see myself being a dad yet, I had lost my dreams.
I was so blinded by my "new life".  Ever so often, however,
 a part of me screamed, "Stop, Caleb! You are ruining your life!"
That was soon forgotten by the next party, the next girl.

Eventually , I went out on a date with Jessie.
 It was like old times.
She was very reserved, and very beautiful.
I was amazed at how selfless she was.
 I met her son, Conner. He was so much fun.
I was still very cautious. I wasn't sure if I could do this.
We dated for a little while, and I was falling in love.
Not only with Jessie, but with Conner also.
It was awesome and beautiful. This love kept growing,
and I got scared. I remembered what happened the last time
 I thought I was in love. So I bolted.
I broke up with Jessie, and left Conner.
"What was I thinking!, I can't be a good man,
much less a good father. I guess
I'm just going to end up like my dad."
 I destroyed Jessie's heart, and walked out on Conner.
 I kept justifying it, "I'm not the dad, that's not my responsibility."
"I'm just not ready".

I tried to move on , and attempted
to get them out of my head.
 I tried to go back to the parties and bars.
I tried to go back to my "new life".
 One night, at a party, as I was drinking away,
I kept getting pictures in my head of Jessie and Conner.
 I kept feeling the pain I had as a child of having no Father.
I kept feeling Jessie's pain. I kept seeing them playing,
 seeing them laughing. It was like God himself said to me,
 "Caleb! All you have ever desired was a family!
All you have ever wanted was love!
 There is a woman who loves you deeply
 and a boy who wants a daddy, what are you doing??"
It was like a light went off in my head,
and this time,
 I bolted from the right place.

And the rest is history....

Jessie and I are married, and Conner is
legally my son. My dream came true.
I am madly in love with my beautiful wife, and
my son is my joy. Oh, my wife is pregnant too :-)
I actually have the "perfect" family,
and I feel like the richest man in the world.

You think you have it all figured out, single man?
 Do you enjoy ruining your life? Here is some advice,
don't rule out single moms.
 In fact, go for the single mom. It might just changed your life.
It might be the best Christmas ever.
Merry Christmas, from me to you.

The Pauline Pastor

"Give me a man of God - one man,
Whose faith is master of His mind,
And I will right all wrongs
And bless the name of mankind.

Give me a man of God - one man,
Whose tongue is touched with heaven's fire,
And I will flame the darkest hearts
With high resolve and clean desire.

Give me a man of God - one man,
One mighty prophet of the Lord,
And I will give peace on earth,
Bought with a prayer and not a sword.

Give me a man of God - one man,
True to the vision that he sees,
And I will build your broken shrines,
And bring the nations to their knees."

-George Liddell


Today, it seems, that a successful Christian pastor looks like this :
Going to Seminary, Growing a church in number and baptisms,
preaching motivational sermons, leading a  church like a CEO,
Having good Sunday School and VBS programs,
 going and visiting the sick, and being culturally driven.
No doubt some of these things are good,
but are they characteristics of a biblical pastor?
 Is this what God's messenger should look like?

Most of the Biblical teachings regarding pastors come
 from the God-inspired words of the Apostle Paul.
 Paul's teaching can be summed up as the pastors' :
Purpose, Call, and Character.

For the Pauline pastor, the purpose for everything
 is that Christ would be glorified.
 "For what we proclaim is not ourselves but
 Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as
your servants for Jesus' sake"(2 Cor. 4:5).
He will not be focusing on glorifying Himself,
but on proclaiming the glories of Christ.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay,
to show that the surpassing power belongs
to God and not to us" (2 Cor. 4:7)
His purposes are to glorify God by building up the Church.
The is spelled out very clearly in Ephesians 4:11-14.
"And He gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists,
the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the
 work of the ministry, for the building up of the body of Christ,
until we all attain to the unity of faith
 and of the knowledge of the Son of God,
to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature
of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children ,
tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every
wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes."

So the Pauline pastor will watch over and nurture
God's Church for God's glory.
"By ruling and teaching, elders supervise the
spiritual lives of the church. They look after things
on God's behalf" (Philip Graham Ryken).
The ultimate responsibility of the pastor is to lead by preaching and teaching.
"But we will devote ourselves to prayer
and the ministry of the Word" (Acts 6:4).
"Until I come devote yourselves to the public reading
of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching" (1 Tim. 4:13)
This preaching and teaching will flow from the Gospel
of Jesus Christ. It will be the center of preaching for
the Pauline Pastor. "Now I would remind you brothers,
of the gospel I preached to you, which you received,
in which you stand, and by which you are being saved,
if you hold fast to the word that I preached to you, unless
you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance
what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in
accordance with the Scriptures" (1 Cor. 15:1-3, emphasis added).
In the context 1 Corinthians 15, Paul had already preached
the gospel to the Corinthians, but he chose to preach it again
as of "first importance"!
The gospel is everything to the Pauline pastor.

For the sake of clarity the words used in the
New Testament for "Pastor", "Bishop", and "Elder"
are often used interchangeably.
The calling of the pastor is very important.
The pastorate is not a second-option to another career.
God specifically calls some to be pastors.
 "And He gave the apostles , the prophets,
the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers" (Eph. 4:11, emphasis added).
Notice here in Ephesians that this giving of the leaders of the church
is God's work! No man can make himself a pastor. According to Paul,
the pastors' calling is important because it is a work. "We request
of you brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you,
and have charge over you in the Lord and give instruction, and esteem
them very highly in love because of their work " (1 Thess. 5:12-13).

"The saying is trustworthy : If anyone aspires to the office of overseer,
he desires a noble task (or work)" (1 Tim. 3:1).
"Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all
may see your progress" (1 Timothy 4:15).
The pastorate is a sobering responsibility!
This responsibility involves an eternal list of things,
 but one huge one specifically applicable today is
protecting the flock against false doctrine.
"As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia,
 remain on at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons
not to teach any different doctrine" (1 Tim. 1:3, emphasis added).
"He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able
to give instruction in sound doctrine and also rebuke those who contradict it"
(Titus 1:9, emphasis added).
 God has chosen men to preach, teach , and lead by the gospel of Jesus Christ!
This is no small task! The office of the pastor should be held in high honor!
"It is no light matter to represent God's Son, in such a great task as erecting
and extending God's Kingdom, in caring for the salvation of souls whom the
Lord Himself has deigned to purchase with His own blood, and in ruling
the church which is God's inheritance" (John Calvin).

"The saying is vtrustworthy: If anyone aspires to wthe office of overseer,
 he desires a noble task. 2 Therefore xan overseer1 must be above reproach,
ythe husband of one wife,2 zsober-minded, self-controlled, respectable,
 ahospitable, bable to teach, 3 not a drunkard, not violent but cgentle,
not quarrelsome, dnot a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own household well,
with all dignity ekeeping his children submissive,
5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household,
how will he care for wGod's church? 6 He must not be a recent convert,
or he may fbecome puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil.
7 Moreover, he must be well thought of by goutsiders,
so that he may not fall into disgrace, into ha snare of the devil".
-1 Timothy 3:1-8

"if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife,1
and his children are believers2 and not open to the charge
of rdebauchery or insubordination. 7 For an overseer,3
sas God's steward, must be above reproach.
He must not tbe arrogant or quick-tempered
or a drunkard or violent uor greedy for gain,
 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy,
 vand disciplined. 9 He must whold firm to the trustworthy
word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction
 in xsound4 doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it".
- Titus 1:6-9

The man called by God to lead His church will have
the character to back up that call.
The Pauline pastor is a pursuer of Holiness.
First Timothy chapter three and Titus chapter one give a set
of qualifications of a pastor (or elder/overseer).

While it is true that all leaders that all leaders should be
upstanding individuals , pastors are God's representatives.
Nowhere in Scripture does it say that secular leaders will be
held to a higher standard, but it does say that about pastors.
"Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers , for you
know we who teach will be judged with greater strictness" (James 3:1)
These men will be "above reproach". The Greek term for
"above reproach" means "not to be held". The Pauline pastor
"cannot be arrested and held as he were a criminal: there is nothing to
accuse him of " (John MacArthur). David Dickson wrote, "The office and
work being spiritual, it is necessary that elders be spiritual men.
 It is not necessary that they be men of great gifts or worldly position, of wealth
or high education; but it is indispensability necessary that they be men of God,
at peace with Him, new creatures in Christ Jesus."

People's idea of Christ mostly based on pastors. "Pastors are special targets of Satan,
and he will assault them with more severe temptation than others" (John MacArthur).
This is no job for ordinary , upstanding men, but only for God's men.
These men will be exemplary husbands.
"The husband of one wife" (1 Tim. 3:2, Titus 1:6). It literally means a
"one-woman man". He will passionately love her and desire her. He will love
her as Christ loved the church. He will be a faithful father.
"Manages his household well, with all dignity keeping
 his children submissive" (1 Timothy 3:4). "And his children are believers
and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination" (Titus 1:6b).
He will be involved with his children (if he has them), and discipline them and
nurture them in the Lord. He will be well-disciplined in his mind and life.
"Sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable.."(1 Tim. 3:2a). "Self-controlled,
upright, holy, and disciplined" (Titus 1:8b). He will be a good teacher of God's truth.
"Able to teach" (1 Timothy 3:2b). He will proclaim the glories of Christ. He will
love the truth. "He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught,
so that he may be able to give instruction in sound
doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it" (Titus 1:9).
He will love people! "Respectable, hospitable" (1Tim. 3:2b).
He will not be in ministry for money, but, instead God will be his master.
"Not a lover of money" (1 Tim.3:3b).
Lastly, the Pauline pastor will be spiritually mature.
 This man will know God. "He must not be a recent convert,
 or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the
condemnation of the devil." (1 Tim. 3:6).

This man Paul paints in his epistles looks quits different than
today's understanding of what means to be a pastor.
 The fact is that is not popular
to follow God's word. They are , however, just as
sufficient today as when they were fist written.

According to Paul,
a successful pastor will live for the glory of God,
will be called of God, and will have the character
to back up that calling of God.

Be thankful for your pastor

Biblical love

1 Thessalonians 3:12-13

"and may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in
love for one another, and for all people, just as we also do for you;
so that He may establish your hearts without blame in
holiness before our God and Father at the coming
 of our Lord Jesus with all His saints."

Context- Acts 17:1-14

• Paul and Silas traveled to Thessalonica
• Paul preached the Gospel for three straight Sabbaths at the local Jewish Synagogue
• Some Jews were saved, and a vast number of Greek men, and prominent women.
• Some Jews got jealous, and started an uproar in the city, and attacked Jason's house.
• The church sent Paul and Silas away at night to Berea.
• Paul preached at Berea as well (same results).
• Some Jews were saved, but a large number of Greek women and men.
• The Jews in Thessalonica heard about what was happening in Berea.
• They came and started and uproar there as well.
• The church sent Paul out to sea, while Silas and Timothy stayed in Berea.

-The book of 1 Thessalonians was written in Corinth around A.D. 53
-It was written by Paul, Silas and Timothy
-It was written to a local church (1:1-10) who knew what true love was (1:3,3:6,4:9-10).
-Possible temptation /struggle with sexual sin ,
or maybe in an environment where it was rampant (4:1-5).

There is so many applications for my life (and yours)
in this great book.
 This local church dealt with some very hateful Jews,
who wanted them either dead or imprisoned,
 and with the temptation to commit sexual sins.
This is very applicable in our day.
Although we don't necessarily deal with hateful Jews,
 but likely there are people in or around
 your life who have been very hateful to you.
This is very difficult to go through, so many times in my life
I have responded the wrong way to hatefulness,
and began being hateful myself.
This world is full of lust.
 All you have to do is turn on the television,
 open up a magazine, get on the internet,
or go to the mall and with one glance lust could destroy you.
Lust is everywhere and is a definite enemy for
those of us who are striving to live for Jesus.

So what are we supposed to do?
How can we combat these sins?

  The way we can combat this is to love everyone fiercely.

"and may the Lord cause"

Love is from God, and in fact, God is love. It can only come for Him.
It is a gift of God, and not man....

"you to increase and abound in love for one another, and for all people."

"Increase" and "abound" are Greek synonyms (they mean the same thing)
-To be in excess, in number or measure, to be or have more than enough.

"Increase and abound in love in such a way that this ocean of love,
being full, reaches to the top edge of its borders round about
 that it reaches not only Christians, but it also spills over to the lost."

But what kind of love?

 Are we just supposed to be nice to people and say "God bless you"?

NO

"'just as we also did for you:"

Show love the way Paul, Silas and Timothy showed toward the Thessalonians.

But how did they show love to the Thessalonians?

-They preached the Gospel constantly (1:7-8,2:1-6)
-They showed Godly affection (2:7)
-They gave up their lives for them (mortal life,money, time, hobbies, etc.) (2:8-9)
-They lived upright and blameless toward them (2:10)
-They exhorted and encouraged from God's Word (2:3-6,11-12, 5:14)
-They esteemed the preached word of God (2:13,5:12-13)

"so that He may establish your hearts without blame in
 holiness before our God and Father at the
 coming of our Lord Jesus with all His saints."

This kind of love is not the cause of being blameless in holiness before God.
 In other words, doing good deeds will not put you in heaven.
It is not the cause, but it is the evidence that God has
established your heart without blame in holiness before God.
God put that love in you. You didn't somehow conjure it up.

"The Lord by means of love strengthens the inner purposes and desires.
Hearts that are strengthened by this love are less prone to
 crave the unseperated life, the life of the world.
 They will tend in the direction of wholly separated life,
 so that, trusting entirely in Christ and His redemption and
experiencing the transforming influences of His Spirit,
they will be blameless, in a state and condition of holiness
 (separated from sin, consecration to God)."

In short, preach the gospel, esteem the Word,
 love one another with a deep affection, follow Christ,
exhort and encourage from the Word,
 and lay down your whole life for everyone.

This is what it means to love fiercely.
Do it, and see what happens.

You might just start loving sin a little less
and Jesus a lot more.