Saturday, December 21, 2013

Don't rule her out

Maybe you are a loner. Maybe you are heartbroken.
Maybe you just don't care.
 Maybe you just want to have sex with any girl you see.
I would like you to listen to a story of mine,
 a story of how my life drastically changed.
I went from being a loner, heartbroken, uncaring, and a player
to a family man.
A few years ago, I thought I had it all together.
 I met this girl , and I thought I was in love.
I had it in my head, that God's will for me was to marry her.
I changed my whole life for her. Basically I changed who I was.
I left my hometown and moved up to where she lived.
 I started seeing, however, that it wasn't going to work out.
 We were two totally different people, and we split up.
 It broke my heart. I was so sure she was the one.
Depression starting kicking in, and I crawled up into my shell.
 I blocked out the world. I felt like a complete failure.
 I couldn't understand what went wrong! I kept saying
"God, what did I do wrong! Why did you bring her into my life??"
I grew up in a broken home. I wasn't  able to see my dad much,
only about every other weekend.
I never know what it was
like to be in a home where my mom and dad lived together, and
loved each other. That's all I ever wanted. I just wanted a family.
I wanted to be in love, and happy. I wanted children, and I wanted
them to know that their daddy loves them. I could care less about
riches, or fame. I just wanted love, real love.
 I had dreamed about it since I was born.
I thought I had found it, and I was wrong.
I was so devastated. Heartbroken to be exact.
 I couldn't see how any girl would ever want me again.
 I hated feeling this way, but I couldn't help it. I tried and tried.
 I remember friends telling me "cheer up man, you'll find the
right girl eventually". I thought to myself, "eventually? really?".
Well, I didn't stay heartbroken for long.
I basically stopped caring about everything except
one thing, sex. I decided to start sleeping around.
I felt that I was being a "man". That's the American way, right?
I went to bars, clubs, and parties. Drinking my life away,
and having sex with as many girls as possible.
One day I remember getting a text from one my ex-girlfriends
from high school, her name was Jessie.
We dated on and off since middle school, but we
always remained friends. I just remember she always
 used to be head over heals for me.My mom used to tell me
"She is the one for you, son". At this point, She was a single mom.
 She had a one year old son. The biological dad ran out. I thought,
"there's no way". I'm supposed to have the "perfect family".
I couldn't see myself being a dad yet, I had lost my dreams.
I was so blinded by my "new life".  Ever so often, however,
 a part of me screamed, "Stop, Caleb! You are ruining your life!"
That was soon forgotten by the next party, the next girl.
Eventually , I went out on a date with Jessie.
 It was like old times.
She was very reserved, and very beautiful.
I was amazed at how selfless she was.
 I met her son, Conner. He was so much fun.
I was still very cautious. I wasn't sure if I could do this.
We dated for a little while, and I was falling in love.
Not only with Jessie, but with Conner also.
It was awesome and beautiful. This love kept growing,
and I got scared. I remembered what happened the last time
 I thought I was in love. So I bolted.
I broke up with Jessie, and left Conner.
"What was I thinking!, I can't be a good man,
much less a good father. I guess
I'm just going to end up like my dad."
 I destroyed Jessie's heart, and walked out on Conner.
 I kept justifying it, "I'm not the dad, that's not my responsibility."
"I'm just not ready".
I tried to move on , and attempted
to get them out of my head.
 I tried to go back to the parties and bars.
I tried to go back to my "new life".
 One night, at a party, as I was drinking away,
I kept getting pictures in my head of Jessie and Conner.
 I kept feeling the pain I had as a child of having no Father.
I kept feeling Jessie's pain. I kept seeing them playing,
 seeing them laughing. It was like God himself said to me,
 "Caleb! All you have ever desired was a family!
All you have ever wanted was love!
 There is a woman who loves you deeply
 and a boy who wants a daddy, what are you doing??"
It was like a light went off in my head,
and this time,
 I bolted from the right place.
And the rest is history....
Jessie and I are married, and Conner is
legally my son. My dream came true.
I am madly in love with my beautiful wife, and
my son is my joy. Oh, my wife is pregnant too :-)
I actually have the "perfect" family,
and I feel like the richest man in the world.
You think you have it all figured out, single man?
 Do you enjoy ruining your life? Here is some advice,
don't rule out single moms.
 In fact, go for the single mom. It might just changed your life.
It might be the best Christmas ever.
Merry Christmas, from me to you.

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