Saturday, December 24, 2016

26 Christmases

26 Christmases you were there,
To buy me gifts,
And me how to share.

26 Christmases you gave me happiness
By your tender heart,
And by your selflessness.

26 Christmases you filled my belly
With your O so good food.
I can still smell your glorious eggs and jelly.

26 Christmases you gave me love.
You taught me about Jesus.
And what a real family is made of

26 Christmases you watched me grow.
You raised me right Mom.
Your precious heart is imprinted deep inside,
And will forever shine.

Thank for 26 Christmases Mom ,
My sweet Charlynn

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Black Heart

She's gone
She's ever on my mind
You're movin' on
We're still here

You were so mean
I still feel your anger
You're movin' on
We're still here

Gotcha a new one
Good for you
You're movin' on
We're still here

Did what's best for you. huh?
You just added more tears
You're movin' on
We're still here

The hurt isn't gone
It stains
I needed a father
I got inflicted pain

You're movin' on
I'm still here


Sunday, August 21, 2016

Soft in the rain

I'm doing alright,
just gettin' by.
I know what you'd say
"baby, do it right"

but I can see that smile,
smiling at me
I can feel those hugs ,
huggin' on me
I can hear that laugh
laughin at me

I'm thinkin on you mama
I wonder, if you're thinkin on me

I'm gonna love my wife,
like you loved me
selfless in it all
soft in the rain

I'm gonna raise these boys
like you raised me
I'll be stern when it's needed
and soft in the rain

I'll  live my life
like you lived yours
Family first
Work, dead last

Good days , bad days
Mostly good
I'm alright mama
Just thinkin on you


Saturday, April 9, 2016

Gravity pulls

My life isn't the same
I don't know what to do 
What do I do with the pain?

My soul is hopeless 
I can't see where I am going
What do I do with the darkness? 

My mind is lost 
Focus is impossible
what is the cost?

My path is uncertain
I can't just "move on"
Which road do I go down?

Depression is lurking
The snake is ready
To bite me

When my world seemed to be crumbling
You were there
When I needed to cry
You were there
When I needed to talk
You were there
When I needed a laugh
You were there
When I needed a hug
You were there
Your words still stop me in my tracks.
"Baby, everything is gonna be ok.
Now, let me see that beautiful smile!"

I will never get over you, Momma
I'm sorry that I haven't been smiling much






Sunday, January 31, 2016

Sweet Charlynn

Where do I go from here?
I'm so confused.
I lost my mother, my friend.
I lost my sweet Charlynn.

She didn't care of her own  troubles
She only cared of mine.
I lost my mother , my friend
I lost my sweet Charlynn.

She was tender , she was tough
She raised me up.
I lost my mother , my friend.
I lost my sweet Charlynn

You taught me  everything I know.
We laughed, we cried.
I lost my mother ,my friend
I lost my sweet Charlynn

Why did you go?
I'm still so  young, there's still things I don't know.
I lost my mother, my friend.
I lost my sweet Charlynn.

I wanna see you again.
I'd hold onto you, and never let go.
I lost my mother , my friend,
I lost my sweet Charlynn

How beautiful you were !
How pretty your smile!
I lost my mother , my friend.
I lost my sweet Charlynn .

My emotions are outta whack,
My eyes are raw. My heart hurts
I lost my mother, my friend.
I lost my sweet Charlynn.




Sunday, January 24, 2016

Death and the Sovereignty of God

It's been a bit easy for me to talk about stuff like this with people,
up until now. You really never know what is like until it visits you
personally. Three weeks ago, my mother died and my wife and I
suffered a miscarriage in the same week. I must be honest. I have
struggled with this deeply. My whole world was turned on its
head in just two days.

I saw my mom just a few days before, and then me, my brother,
and my uncle's were carrying her lifeless body unto the stretcher.
She was a wonderful woman. I don't know of any words that would
adequately describe how amazing she was.
That very night, my wife and I went to the hospital, due to some
concerns we had. We saw the little baby's heartbeat. The next day,
the baby was gone.

I did wonder where God was. I was so confused and heartbroken.
"Why has this happed to me and my family?"
"God, where are you?"
He was right beside me, the whole time .
I don't understand it all.
But here is what I do know:

When Joseph's brothers begged for forgiveness,
He said this :
"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it
for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve
many people alive." -Gen.50:20
God brought about Joseph being put into slavery,
being charged with attempted rape, imprisonment, and
eventually making him the ruler of Egypt basically, for his good.
To bring about the present result.

Solomon.. when thinking about God, he said this:
"There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink
and tell himself that his labor is good. This also  I have
seen that it is from the hand of God."- Eccl. 2:24
I see from this that God is very much involved with
the little things and the big things in my everyday life.

Paul, talking about the Sovereignty of God, says this:
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for
 good to those who love God, to those who are called according
His purpose." -Romans 8:28
Notice "God causes all things". Not just "good things",
"happy things", "peaceful things".

All Things,
 which would include the death of my sweet mother, and baby.
For my good.

Why must I think nothing bad should happen?
Am I really that naïve?
I'm living in a fallen and decaying world.
Did God ever promise bad things wouldn't happen?

Quite the contrary,
There are so many verses that could answer that.
He did promise me this:
"These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may
have peace. In this world you will have tribulations; but
be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."- John 16:33

In the words of Job, I say:
"Naked I came from my mothers womb,
and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave
and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the
Lord." -Job 2:21


P.S.
Isaiah 42:3