This blood

I want to forget y’all are gone
I just act like y’all are still here
I need to figure out how to survive
In this world without yall being here
I hold onto this blood
This blood

All the memories I wish I didn’t have at times
Some say “you should cherish them”
 That’s easy to say in your eyes

My world exploded when they died
But the earth kept spinning
The sun kept rising and setting
The Employer kept expecting
But I’m still holding onto this blood
This blood

I want to be the man God called me to be
A husband and father that leaves a legacy
How do I move on from this?
Tragedy after tragedy
I’m holding onto this blood
This blood

“Give it to God” they state
You should read a little more I say
The Sovereign King makes no promises
Of a peaceful life in this place
It doesn’t take away the pain
He promised life here would be strained

My world is right in front of me
My sons running and dancing
My bride loving me softly
I’m still holding on to this blood
This blood

My emotions are brittle
My confidence belittled

I’m terrified to answer the phone
Don’t take my sons Father
I beg you to spare my wife
Please Lord I can’t do this alone
Tragedy after Tragedy
I’m still holding onto this blood
This blood