Soft in the rain

I'm doing alright,
just gettin' by.
I know what you'd say
"baby, do it right"

but I can see that smile,
smiling at me
I can feel those hugs ,
huggin' on me
I can hear that laugh
laughin at me

I'm thinkin on you mama
I wonder, if you're thinkin on me

I'm gonna love my wife,
like you loved me
selfless in it all
soft in the rain

I'm gonna raise these boys
like you raised me
I'll be stern when it's needed
and soft in the rain

I'll  live my life
like you lived yours
Family first
Work, dead last

Good days , bad days
Mostly good
I'm alright mama
Just thinkin on you

Gravity pulls

My life isn't the same

I don't know what to do 

What do I do with the pain?

My soul is hopeless 

I can't see where I am going

What do I do with the darkness? 

My mind is lost 

Focus is impossible
what is the cost?

My path is uncertain
I can't just "move on"
Which road do I go down?

Depression is lurking
The snake is ready
To bite me

When my world seemed to be crumbling
You were there
When I needed to cry
You were there
When I needed to talk
You were there
When I needed a laugh
You were there
When I needed a hug
You were there
Your words still stop me in my tracks.
"Baby, everything is gonna be ok.
Now, let me see that beautiful smile!"

I will never get over you, Momma
I'm sorry that I haven't been smiling much

Sweet Charlynn

Where do I go from here?
I'm so confused.
I lost my mother, my friend.
I lost my sweet Charlynn.

She didn't care of her own  troubles
She only cared of mine.
I lost my mother , my friend
I lost my sweet Charlynn.

She was tender , she was tough
She raised me up.
I lost my mother , my friend.
I lost my sweet Charlynn

You taught me  everything I know.
We laughed, we cried.
I lost my mother ,my friend
I lost my sweet Charlynn

Why did you go?
I'm still so  young, there's still things I don't know.
I lost my mother, my friend.
I lost my sweet Charlynn.

I wanna see you again.
I'd hold onto you, and never let go.
I lost my mother , my friend,
I lost my sweet Charlynn

How beautiful you were !
How pretty your smile!
I lost my mother , my friend.
I lost my sweet Charlynn .

My emotions are outta whack,
My eyes are raw. My heart hurts
I lost my mother, my friend.
I lost my sweet Charlynn.

Death and the Sovereignty of God

It's been a bit easy for me to talk about stuff like this with people,
up until now. You really never know what is like until it visits you
personally. Three weeks ago, my mother died and my wife and I
suffered a miscarriage in the same week. I must be honest. I have
struggled with this deeply. My whole world was turned on its
head in just two days.

I saw my mom just a few days before, and then me, my brother,
and my uncle's were carrying her lifeless body unto the stretcher.
She was a wonderful woman. I don't know of any words that would
adequately describe how amazing she was.
That very night, my wife and I went to the hospital, due to some
concerns we had. We saw the little baby's heartbeat. The next day,
the baby was gone.

I did wonder where God was. I was so confused and heartbroken.
"Why has this happed to me and my family?"
"God, where are you?"
He was right beside me, the whole time .
I don't understand it all.
But here is what I do know:

When Joseph's brothers begged for forgiveness,
He said this :
"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it
for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve
many people alive." -Gen.50:20
God brought about Joseph being put into slavery,
being charged with attempted rape, imprisonment, and
eventually making him the ruler of Egypt basically, for his good.
To bring about the present result.

Solomon.. when thinking about God, he said this:
"There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink
and tell himself that his labor is good. This also  I have
seen that it is from the hand of God."- Eccl. 2:24
I see from this that God is very much involved with
the little things and the big things in my everyday life.

Paul, talking about the Sovereignty of God, says this:
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for
 good to those who love God, to those who are called according
His purpose." -Romans 8:28
Notice "God causes all things". Not just "good things",
"happy things", "peaceful things".

All Things,
 which would include the death of my sweet mother, and baby.
For my good.

Why must I think nothing bad should happen?
Am I really that naïve?
I'm living in a fallen and decaying world.
Did God ever promise bad things wouldn't happen?

Quite the contrary,
There are so many verses that could answer that.
He did promise me this:
"These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may
have peace. In this world you will have tribulations; but
be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."- John 16:33

In the words of Job, I say:
"Naked I came from my mothers womb,
and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave
and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the
Lord." -Job 2:21


P.S.
Isaiah 42:3

Deuce

I remember exactly what I was doing 2 years ago today.
I stayed the night at my dads house, anxiously waiting
to marry my bestfriend the next day. I'm not sure that I could
adequately describe my feelings that day with any letter ,
nor with any language for that matter.
I was simply amazed ,
both by you
and at how blessed I was.

Our wedding was beautiful,
and you were gorgeous and stunning.


Shortly after our marriage, I remember getting the news
that I was now Conner's
legal father! What a day that was!!  Conner is such a gift of grace,
It's such a blessing being his father.

Last year , our youngest was born, and I could not believe
how beautiful that was! Chase is yet another gift of grace,
that I get to call mine! My cup runneth over!!

Some will say thay marriage only gets worse the longer one
is married. I'm sure some would say that being married two years
is no major deal.

Here is what I know , I can't breath without God's grace.
 Without grace , our marriage would fail, as well as our lives.
I don't live my life according to man's opinion, but God's.
According to His word, a happy , faithful, and pure marriage
is possible, only by and through Him.

I'm a sinful man , who can be selfish and hard headed, yet
God gave me a humble and beautiful wife who walks alongside
 me in this life and towards Christ.
God has sustained us and our marriage, and He will continue to
do so.
God has richly blessed us beyond what I could have imagined!
Praise be to His Name!
Happy Anniversary!!

The Cole's - established 9/6/13

P.S. I love you
Thank you for loving me Jessie Lynn

The Reason

It's your hair,
no, it's your eyes.
That sexy grin
that gets me every time.

It's your beautiful body.
It's everything about you.
What is it?
Can I narrow it down
to one thing?

Chase turned around,
and looked at me
the other day.
He just stood there,
smiling at me.

Then I realized what it is,

Your heart

I know every Bible verse
that tells me our hearts are wicked.
Bad wicked.
I know all that very well.

So maybe its called something else,
whatever it is , yours is beautiful,
selfless, and it shines bright.
It radiates and changes those around you.


Thank you for the radiation.



I love you so much Jessie Lynn

You are mine

You are my treasure
I found the most wonderful beauty
And made you mine

You are my love
I earnestly long to be with you
All of the hours of the day

You are my passion
The feelings I have for you
Belong to no other

You are my joy
You bring me delight
Every minute , every hour of every day

You are my strength
When I feel weak
You build me up

You are my grace
I deserve the depths of hell
But I have heaven in my arms

You are my Enjoyment
There's never a dull moment
We have crazy fun
Doing life together
I enjoy every second with you

You are my desire
I want you, and no other

You are my pleasure
Only I could know
How you enrapture me

Jessie Lynn
You are my life
I'm the man I am because of you
I'm the father I am because of you
I'm the husband I am because of you

You are mine

The old Word says
Praise a godly woman
So I praise you

I love you beautiful